the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
