then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
