can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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