Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
