But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
