I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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