real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I party with great urgency now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
