She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
