clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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