If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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