I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
