the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
