Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
