Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Bring me that man meat
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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