just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i came on her dog
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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