Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
