Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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