Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My dick has a subreddit
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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