I want to walk on stilts...naked
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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