everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
