I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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