I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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