No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
