i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
