didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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