Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
