Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
