You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
