Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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