We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I need moral support for this bender
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
