I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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