Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How external is "for external use only"?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
