If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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