He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
