No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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