Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
