Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
