So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
