Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
