You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
