he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
