Where is the hickey?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're like the curious george of whores
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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