I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All the doctor said was why
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just puked most of my soul out..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
