Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
