You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
