i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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