I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
