I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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