OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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