The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
