call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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