Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
