I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
