I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
