He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize