So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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