Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
