dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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