My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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